a piece of cauliflower can be president as long as it was born here and is 35 years of age
me at school
*cis voice* if i say i identify as a toaster, that doesn’t make me a toaster!!!!!
You know when a fast angry song comes on that you know every word to and you’re in just the right mood that your eyes light up with the fire and angst of a thousand punk rockers and you just feel so alive
“1. Sometimes you’ll be like, “HEY EVERYONE LET’S DO SUSHI AND DRINKS AND FUN STUFF TOMORROW NIGHT!” but then tomorrow night comes and you regret everything as you try to weasel your way out of plans that you created. You resent 24-Hours-Ago-You for being so enthusiastic.”
*subtle hints of self hatred in everything i say*